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The Money Question

It pains me to say that I even have to address this issue but I know that some of you visit here because of my posts on other sites. Twice in the past year posters on those sites have accused me of "trying to profit financially from other people's misery." (Yes, this was an exact quote).

I have no idea why people are so negative or cynical or even how they arrive at this conclusion BUT I'm going to address it so that those of you who do visit not only understand why I do what I do but understand that most months, I am losing money on this website, but more than it, it takes a lot of time and effort each month. When I was a therapist, I made a salary...today I make nothing in helping others AND I lose money every time I put on a seminar or give a talk. I lose money on my website every single month. I hope to break even one day but that's not even a consideration of mine most of the time. I am writing a book but most authors never break even with that.

My website and the information contained herein and my seminars are my way of giving back...I went from being a very hurting person to someone who has success that most people only dream of. I have a dream career, I'm happily married, I have great relationships with my kids and my friends and I have money in the bank. I know who I am and I like who I am. I have no crisis or issues in my life. I'm happy, healthy, wealthy and wise.

I developed the program of How To Get Past Your Past. I developed the methodology of "observation, preparation and cultivation" over the course of many years in working with therapists, working with clients as a therapist, working as a facilitator, working as a grief counselor, working as a volunteer, and years of academic research in graduate school. The crux of the program is on this website as well as exercises and guidelines in how to use the program. Free of charge.

Students pay for my classes and seminars but they are not money making propositions either. Last winter several people who do not live in NYC asked me for some CDs and/or DVDs of some of my lectures. I made them and sent them. I had a few for sale and sold them on the website but they did not make up for what I spent making them. Perhaps I will have CDs for sale again when I can invest the money into duplication, but they are not for sale now.

I pay money each month to a web-hosting company and to the newsletter distribution service. I don't make any money on anything that reduces that cost. I don't have a PayPal donation button on my site as others do. What I do in teaching and speaking is my way of giving back for what I was given.

I try to keep my fees low but I have to charge something for conference space, food, materials and to try to offset the free and reduced tuition I give. I give free and reduced tuition to people who cannot afford to come on their own.

I work 60-80 hours a week at my day job where I do make money (good money) and I am exhausted when I come home and yet feel that I can't just keep what I was given and not share it when there are people out there who could be hurting.

I could come home and watch TV, but I don't. I sign on here and in other places and talk to people and work on my books and class material. When I am teaching, I spent weeks preparing the material that I give out in class. I do my own copying and binding. No one does that for me.

I could be relaxing and taking it easy...I make a good salary...I don't need to do this and I didn't do it for a few years and felt guilty that I was not sharing the incredibly wonderful things I learned. I feel that I need to give back because what I was given has given me such a great life.

While it would be nice to break even financially or even be able to hire someone to help me with the website so I have some free time in my life...I don't have any illusion of ever making money at this...and I'd do it more if I didn't lose so much money when I do it.

My students and those who hear me speak are very grateful...I had a woman attend a 2 hour seminar and tell me that hearing my story and how I changed my life changed her life...we stay in touch...THAT is the payback that I get from this. That is so gratifying to me.

I know that some people can't understand that people actually do spend time and their own money to help people who are hurting. I find it difficult to believe that I'm in a position to defend myself in doing that.

As people have told me, no good deed goes unpunished. I only hope that people who question this are less common than people who understand that I try to give away what I was given.

Peace.